Once access is granted, clear rules about phone use should be established and reviewed, likely again and again.  Basic rules that are reasonable to put into place regarding phone use include:

• Parents/caregivers have the right to access and remove phones if they feel that their child is using it unwisely.  Passcodes for the child’s phone should be shared with parents.
• While they respect their privacy, parents/caregivers can screen text messages and photos if there is any concern about appropriate and respectful communication with others.
• Parents/caregivers should monitor the whereabouts of their child using their smartphone.  
• All should agree on a monthly data plan and any additional money available (if any) to cover games and app expenses.  If the child or teen receives allowance and/or has a job, having them cover at least part of the expenses would be reasonable.  
• The child should disconnect from all screens including their phones, at least 1 hour prior to bedtime, whenever possible.  This allows their brain to start winding down for the night and often improves their ability to fall and stay asleep.  
• Phones should be charged outside of the bedroom to limit the temptation to use it outside of the hours they are allowed.  
• Any apps that the child may wish to purchase and/or download should be discussed with parents/caregivers first.
• Having access to a smartphone is a privilege, not a right.  If the child consistently breaks the rules and boundaries set by their parents/caregivers, it’s a privilege that can be removed and earned back through responsible behavior.  

Teach kids about the limitations and nuances of text messaging.  Text messages can be an easy and convenient way to communicate with friends and peers.  However, it can sometimes be unclear or difficult to decode what the true intent or feeling behind a message is.  Unlike in-person conversations, texts don’t always clearly show differences in tone, facial expressions, and/or body language that clue us into whether a comment was made in sincerity, sarcasm, or anger.  Encourage your child to always clarify unclear messages by following up with a phone call or an in-person conversation to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.  

This publication was authored by CPCMG Associate Director of Behavioral Mental Health, Dr. Patty Lee, and Harrison Howard, P.A.

Reviewed by: HH P.A., PL M.D., HB M.D. | 06/2024