A common dilemma that parents are coming up against when it comes to smartphones is “all the other kids have one.” Kids often complain of feeling left out from their friends and the resulting guilt lead some parents to give in sooner than they had originally intended.  However, there are plenty of good reasons for parents to hold their ground and not allow their child to have their own smartphone before at least 8th grade.  Parents always should validate their child’s feelings and desire to connect with others socially – after all, it’s normal and natural to feel this way!   But they should also clearly discuss their reasons for not granting access until a certain age.

WaitUntil8th is a parent-led movement aiming to mobilize local parents to sign a pledge that they will “wait until 8th grade” to grant smartphone access.  We encourage parents to visit their website for more details and instructions on how to initiate this in their community.  Finding fellow like-minded parents, especially those of their child’s friends, will help ease the “everyone has one but me” complaint that parents often hear.  

However, age is not always the only factor to consider when deciding whether the child is ready for a smartphone.  Not all 8th graders are at the same maturity level.  Their overall maturity, history of responsible behavior (or the lack thereof), and social awareness should be considered.  

Questions to think about include:

• Does my child lose things easily?
• Does my child understand the concept of money (ex. “buying” something online is real even if there is no physical money exchanged)?
• Does my child understand that text messages, photos, and social media posts are never truly private and can become public and visible to all?

A step-wise way of introducing a phone may be appropriate for some.  Start kids off with a “non-smart” phone that cannot be used for social media, gaming, or internet browsing such as the Gabb Phone.  It can be used for calling and texting and also includes a camera, calendar, FM radio, and GPS allowing you to track where your child is.  It does not include picture messages, group texts, or an app store.

This publication was authored by CPCMG Associate Director of Behavioral Mental Health, Dr. Patty Lee, and Harrison Howard, P.A.

Reviewed by: HH P.A., PL M.D., HB M.D. | 06/2024