Disclaimer [ENGLISH]
Disclaimer: This material is for educational purposes only. You, the reader, assume full responsibility for how you choose to use it. It is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, nor does it replace the advice or counsel of a doctor or health care professional. Reference to a specific commercial product or service does not imply endorsement or recommendation of that product or service by CPCMG.
Introducing your newborn to their siblings can be an exciting but also nervous time.
Before your baby is born
- Start talking about baby before they are born.
- You can read books to your older kids about becoming a big brother or big sister.
- Talk with them about how they can help with the new baby. Some examples include helping get you toys or diapers and throwing diapers away.
- Put your baby's things in place - like swings, portable crib, and bassinet - a few weeks before your baby’s due date. Let your older children get used to the new items and the different sounds they make. You can pretend play with their dolls or stuffed animals before baby is born, but teach them that after the baby is born these things are only for the baby to use.
- Let your older children help set up the baby’s room.
- If your older child sleeps with you or in your room, consider transitioning them into their own room before baby is born.
- If you try to make this change after your new baby is born, they might feel like the baby is “taking their place”.
- If the transition comes long before baby is here, they will be less likely to think it was because of the new baby.
- If you plan to wean breastfeeding, transition from a bottle to sippy cup, or remove a pacifier, try doing these things as early as possible so your older one does not associate these changes with the new baby.
Source: https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/childrens-books-about-a-new-baby-sibling
When baby arrives
Gifts
- Let your older child choose a present to give their new baby sibling. This might be a new stuffed animal, blanket, or book.
- You can also get a small gift for your older children. Let them know that this gift came from the new baby.
Helping
- Preschool and school-aged children want to help in the care of their new sibling. Give them specific, age-appropriate jobs like reading to the baby, talking to the baby, singing to baby, getting wipes or diapers for diaper changes, or throwing away diapers.
- Toddlers love copying the things other people are doing. When you feed your new baby, change their diaper, or put them to sleep, your toddler can do the same for their stuffed animals or dolls.
- Siblings often try to help and might try to pick baby up if they are crying. Do not leave your baby unattended with their new sibling. Do not leave your baby anywhere high like an adult bed, couch or changing table.
Siblings often seem to need you RIGHT when you go to do something for the baby (like a feed, diaper change or putting them down to sleep).
- If you know it’s almost time, it can be helpful to tell your little one, “It’s almost time to feed baby. My hands will be busy. What can you do while I feed baby?”
- If you occupy your toddler before you begin a feeding, there might be less distractions, whining and meltdowns.
Try to keep things as consistent, or regular, as possible for your older children.
- If possible, try to have some special alone time with older siblings without the new baby around. Anything unique or special where you spend time just with your older one makes them feel special. It can even be as little as 5 minutes.
- The rules you had before baby arrived still apply after baby arrives. Your older children might try to push the limits and get away with things they normally aren’t allowed to. Children do best when they have consistent rules and expectations.
Toddlers often change their behavior in about 2 weeks.
- If initially your toddler is not excited about new baby, they will often come around within 2 weeks.
- Sometimes toddlers are VERY interested at first, then the excitement wears off after about 2 weeks. It is around this time that you might see some new, undesirable behaviors. With consistent parenting, these behaviors usually improve in another 2 weeks.
Siblings and Illness
- Many toddlers and school age kids get sick often (especially if in daycare or school).
- Make sure your older children are up to date on vaccines and get the flu vaccine during flu season
- If you know your child is sick, try to keep them away from baby (especially baby’s face) if they are coughing and sneezing.
- Remember that fever (temperature 100.4℉ or above) in a newborn is an emergency. Please contact your baby’s primary care provider for advice if your newborn has a fever.
This publication was adapted from information from American Academy of Pediatrics Patient Education materials.
Reviewed by: JJ M.D., CPCMG Newborn Committee, AR D.O. | 05/2024